A couple of days after the peace of Taman Negara I was boarding a flight to Vietnam, returning to Hanoi, the starting destination for my travels three odd years ago.
It was an odd sensation, feeling as though my journey had come full circle and, knowing the many changes that have occurred within during the past few years, I looked forward to seeing how I would view the city and the country now.
One month since initially arriving, I have dealt with tumultuous emotions. Struggling with some elements whilst thriving from others.
Away from the main tourist area of the city, next to the expansive Ho Tay Lake, day to day life and traffic has a less intense feeling than I remember from my initial visit.
I recalled seeing masses of electrical wiring hanging through the streets, a constant buzz of traffic and people. On returning I felt this was something I barely noticed, though soon realised this was due to being in a quieter (though far from quiet) area of the city.
I wasted little time buying a bicycle as a means to get around town, and with the intention of doing some cycling trips further afield. In my first week I also began yoga classes, something I have wanted to do, but struggled to find opportunity for regular classes to attend in the remote locations I’ve lived over the past few years. Both are key in my day to day happiness, and my ability to deal with what can sometimes feel an intense and challenging life.
Finding my way around the city via bus or bicycle has been an adventure of its own. Buses pull in just momentarily at every stop, I’ve found myself banging on the door to get on and stepping off an already moving vehicle if I dare to pause for one second.
My first cycle journey took me through a maze of innumerable alleys and into a different world. The narrow streets filled with the life and colour of a market, on a miniature scale. Vendors along one side, proffering fruit, vegetables and raw meat to the bustling buyers.
Nearly losing myself within these neverending turns, I have since stuck to pathways my maps app knows exist!
Through emotional challenges I’ve faced this month I have come to realise that focusing on acceptance, of the situation I have chosen, of the city as it is, even of the speed I have to cycle to meld with the traffic, is crucial in my finding consistent happiness here. I aim to appreciate the quirks of the city, instead of focusing on the pollution (feeling high from fumes while I wait for a bus, or discovering you should never wear contact lenses in this city as it’s so bad for your eyes) and the tiring battles I often face as a vegan in search of healthy food.
As I begin to feel settled, every now and then I still get a stark reminder of where I am, the huge contrast to life as I’ve generally known it. A usual journey to yoga suddenly changed as one side of a major road is closed in rush hour, officers lining the street keeping the area clear for an official ceremony. A medic with a mask looking at me out the back of an ambulance, its siren running as I pass it by, everyone too focused on weaving traffic to move aside and let it pass. Seeing a lady cycle along with chickens hanging lifeless from her basket…
This has been one of the most challenging parts of my journey so far and as such, I feel that in turn, it could become one of the most rewarding.
And as I sit here in a cafe hidden among the alleyways, having yesterday moved into a house and for the first time in five months, having a bed and a space to call my own, I feel as though I am satisfied in, for now, calling this place home.
